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Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, by Tristan Taormino
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Review
"A luscious smorgasbord of non-monogamy as an opportunity for breaking free of one-way models of sex and love. Taormino's discussion is remarkably nuanced and balanced--and encourages readers to proceed with their eyes wide open." --Jack Morin, PhD, author of The Erotic Mind "Bold advice for explorers of open relationships. Comprehensive, clear, and grounded in practical realities, this book is one of the best to come along in a long time!" --Deborah Anapol, Ph.D., author of Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits "Courageous, stunningly thorough and inspiring. If you need a pathfinding guide for evolving your relationships, this is it." --Daphne Rose Kingma, author of The Future of Love "If you are looking for an everyday, run-of-the-mill relationship guide, this introduction to the world of nonmonogamy is probably not for you. Village Voice sex columnist Taormino, who has authored or edited a handful of guides on physical relationships (e.g., The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women), sheds light on the various types of open relations and shares tips on how these relationships can most successfully be maintained. Those put off by the book's premise shouldn't be: this is not so much an espousal of nonmonogamous relationships as it is a comprehensive guide to the phenomenon, offering numerous firsthand accounts from those involved in open relationships. With its modern twist on conventional relationships, her latest title would be best suited for contemporary nonfiction collections." --Carolann Curry, Mercer Univ. Medical Lib., Macon, GA -- Library Journal --July 2008 "Superbly informative, sympathetic and literate." --Dr. Gloria Brame, author of Different Loving "Taormino cuts through all the utopian theory and gets down to what people really need: the nuts and bolts of how open relationships work. I want to give Opening Up to everyone I know who asks, 'How do you do it?'" --Susie Bright, author of Best American Erotica Series "This is the book you want to read if you're looking for a voice that is balanced, sensitive and sensible when tackling the thorny question of sexual boundaries in love relationships. Opening Up is sure to open up your mind." --Esther Perel, author of Mating In Captivity: Unlocking Erotica Intelligence--Reviews
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About the Author
Tristan Taormino is an American feminist author, columnist, sex educator, activist, editor, speaker, radio host, and pornographic film director.
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Product details
Paperback: 346 pages
Publisher: Cleis Press; First Edition edition (May 1, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781573442954
ISBN-13: 978-1573442954
ASIN: 157344295X
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 1 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
182 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#18,702 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I hesitated to buy this volume for several years, as much as I love Taormino as a writer and speaker, as I was foiled by the title. "Opening Up" hints at a manual geared strictly towards monogamous couples who want to expand their relationship, but in fact this book does much more. After hearing a podcast review, I finally bought a copy and was pleasantly surprised by the ground Taormino covers. Unlike Hardy and Easton's Ethical Slut, the book I'd previously considered the poly bible, this primer doesn't focus on one type of polyamory or seem to be biased in any one direction. Its greatest strength is the comprehensive descriptions of a wide variety of relationship types, from polyfidelity to swiniging to poly tribes and networks. This is a great first book on polyamory, but I'd also recommend it to long-time practitioners who are interested in the theory of open/poly relationships and may want to know about the different ways other people practice poly and explore other options. All the theory is illustrated by plenty of real-life stories, as well as exercises to help the reader find their own best poly. I would be happy to see a second edition with less rigid gender norms included, but otherwise it's a great read.
Not only was this a great read but the techniques they have for communication are AMAZING, to the point where I recommend non-poly couples to read it because it is a gold mind of wonderful information and how to cope and what to expect. No two relationships will EVER be the same and I feel like that is a great theme to have throughout the book. It doesn't teach you how to make yours work but how to have nonviolent communication and create healthy boundaries.
Best book for all marriages whether open or not. Any normal married couple if "honest" has fantasies of being with another partner IF they are being honest with each other. Regardless if you "share" each other or not how exciting to read this book knowing the joy, love and enhancement it will bring to your bedroom, sex lives and marriage. A MUST BUY BOOK!
A thorough and well-researched work on a topic that is lacking much attention from authors and publishers. As others have noted, the author's discussion of communication was very good and thought-provoking. I wish there had been a little more discussion of compersion and the critical role that can play in fostering an open relationship; that said, that the author devoted as much attention to it at all speaks well of the book since it is hard to find any information on compersion anywhere else. If the author could be faulted at all, it might be for her attempt to cover so many different relationship types in one place, and also dwelling a bit too much on the BDSM community. Still, it was excellent to read excerpts from interviews with real people in real open relationships. Many of the resources listed at the end of the book are quite dated (does anyone really use Yahoo groups anymore??), but there are still some good sources listed. And thankfully there is a frank discussion of the necessity to practice safer sex. This is definitely worth getting (and keeping on your shelf after you've read it), but you will want to read more than just this very good book.
This is a great book for anyone, even those who aren't considering an open relationship. My favorite part about it is that it gives you a window onto the lives of real people, lives that may be different from your own. It's just good to fully understand the depth and breadth of human relationships and that as long as there are enthusiastically consenting adults involved, it's all good.
Tristan Taormino is a great author on polyamory. If you are considering declaring yourself as polyamorous then educate yourself by reading up on the subject matter; moreover, do not skip this book. Opening Up is core and key to explaining many part of polyamory. I believe that the monogamy state of relationship is on the decline and polyamory is the medicine that could bring a new vision for healthy, loving, and sustaining relationships.
My cheating husband bought this book. He likes it. Good for him.
More of a primer book, but goes over different type of non monogomous relationships and arrangements very well. Doesn't go off track with too many personal stories.I think it's an important reading for anyone considering ethical non-monogamy, but also a great refresher for those already practicing.
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